My Children

I love outdoor activities. Over the years here at poughkeepise area I have enjoyed apple picking, sledding on the hill behind our home, trip to Game Farm (which closed down this year 2006) and so on. so, here are some pictures.

I still find myself struggling in acceptance of His love. In fact, I preached about embracing God's grace a couple weeks ago. This morning I simply prayed that God would show and tell me that He loves me. I know full well in my knowledge that God is love and He loves me. I also know that I don't solely depend on my feeling. But I wasn't feeling it today so I prayed for His love, which will motivate me, excite me, and compells me for the ministry. In the midst of prayer, He reminded me of incident happened with Ellie yesterday. My daughter Ellie has this learned behavior of cleaning with wipe, she thinks it's fun. Anyway, she had this wet paper towel and wiping on my laptop.
As soon as I noticed her, I kind of yelled at her not to wipe on computer. I think I scared her, she cried and it was somewhat uncontrollable. I told her that it's OK. But she was clinging unto her Mom and cried and cried. I told her to come to me and I wanted to embrace her and calm her down. But she was too afaid of me to approch. At that moment all I wanted from her was that she would trust me and know that I love her. In the same way, I sensed that God wants me to trust Him for His love for me.
Doesn't love need to be trusted to be experienced in the first place? Love is experienced when trusted, even when I wronged and offended God who offers love.

my family 

enjoying family

I had this week off. I guess it is like a vacation, but we haven't gone any places other than shopping here and there and eating out. This week has been great so far, spending time with family. We went bowling on Monday, Ellie and Isaiah really enjoyed it. On Tuesday, we went down to New Jersey and shopped at IKEA, ate at Korean restaurant, and went Korean grocery store. Today, my wife and I decide to make calendar for gifts to our family members so we looked at family pictures taken past couple years. It was a joy and laughter to look at those pictures. Thank God for the family.

Now I am thinking, "why is it so hard to take some time and enjoy family and life?" ministry, class, laziness.... It should a part of discipline to enjoy some other things than work and ministry.

Ellie and Isaiah

 

at Billy Graham's Crusade in NY 2005

my family at the top of Bear Mt.

A few important lessons I have learned...

Yesterday I had a servant student leader meeting. we had a time of reflection. One of the reflection tools was this. list some things you have learned from the Bible.

I reflected and wrote down these...

Perseverance (resilient life): Apostle Paul often describes Christian life as ruing a race with goal. This race (journey towrad God) is a not like a splinter, rather like a marathon. It is a hard race. it requires steadiness, endurance and perseverance. There are up hills and down hills, straight path and curves. The same is in ministry and journey toward God. I choose to be resilient in those challenging moments, especially when life and ministry get tough.

Love is choice, and hate is also a choice: given the fact that not everyone is lovable, I encounter people I have hard time loving. Especailly in ministry, I get to meet someone gives me heatache, frustration, and hurt. love is a choice and hate is a choice. I will choose to love as much as I can.

Proactive: Paul said in Philippians, "don't let yourself be intimidated by anything." This is a spirit of proactiveness. I also learned this from "Seven Habits of Higly Effective People" by Steven Covey. We have a freedom of choice in any situations. We choose to respond any situations and circumstances, positively or negatively. This power of positive choice in response to any accurance is called responsibility or proactivity. Responsibity is also a conbined words response - ability. Let me quote some words of Eleanor Roosebelt and Gandy from the book, " no one can hurt you without your consent." "They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them. Do not let yourself to be intimidated by anything! Choose to repond positively!

I realize that I go through this emotional up and down every fall season. Looking back, in the fall I tend to reflect on things and go to this somewhat depression mode. Lord, I need to be with you and find some wisdom to minimize the outcome of emotional struggle.
Plus, it has been so crazy my work load in the summer and now taking another class besides ministries. I really need to find some rest in the Lord. Lord help me!